Bleh.

I haven't posted in a while and have had some complaints, I won't name names (Cortnie Potter, :) i still love you). I haven't had much to post about. Nothing amazing has happened. I haven't taken any great pictures. Aiden still says crazy things, but what else is new. Maxwell is a lunatic. Again, nothing new. So, what do I post about? The only noteworthy things happening in my life are not so great. My husband commutes 2 1/2 hours each way to work every day, so he gets home at 9pm almost every night. We need a van, and were about to buy one I loved when our student loan payment went up $300 a month, the exact amount out car payment would have been. I have been driving a 1993 Toyota corolla that is painted 2 different colors since Trevor started his new job 3 months ago. We are stuck at the point of just barely surviving and it blows. I really should be grateful, there are many people who are jobless and I of all people know that. But, am I the only one who finds it so hard to be positive when everything around me is just kind of bleh?! It's not horrible, but it's not good either. I feel like every day is the same over and over again. I wake up, get Aiden off to school, wrangle max until 1 when he takes a nap(not happily), sit and sometimes stare at the wall unable to bring myself to do anything productive until picking Aiden up at 3, do homework(hopefully without yelling), cook dinner while Max clings to my leg asking for a "cup" or "sack", eat dinner with my kids and no husband, bathe kids, put kids to bed, sometimes clean up after dinner, sometimes be lazy again because I just can't do it anymore, wait until Trevor walks through the door, go to bed 30 minutes later, sleep, REPEAT!! I'm exhausted all the time, mentally and physically. It's not fair to my little boys. The worst part about it all is that there is no end in sight. My husband is not going to get a raise anytime soon so we will not be moving closer to his job and will not be buying a car. Maxwell shows no signs of changing his challenging little personality. Yes, I have a roof over my head, we have food to eat, we are all relatively healthy, my husband has a job, I have 2 wonderful little boys, and I have a husband who loves me(despite my gloominess). I have many things to be grateful for, I am just currently having a hard time remembering them. So, there you go, paragraphs later... Melanie is depressed and having a pity party. Now you know why I haven't posted, because it would have been all doom and gloom, just like this! :)